There’s a matter of national importance that threatens the harmonious relations between the sexes which neither NAHAB (National Association of Husbands AndBoyfriends), PLOW (Pulane Leftist Organisation of Wankers), MAN (Menenist Activists Network) nor any of the organisations that purport to represent men have addressed. As with everything that men overlook, it falls on to the Deputy Boyfriends to keep the peace. As such, the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends wishes to provide clarity in a bid to avoid the looming sex war.


Certain circles in the female community has been spreading propaganda that no one is ever too busy, that being busy just means that this particular person has no interest in you. According to this ideology, when a man says to his bae that he is busy and cannot at that particular time give her attention, this is to be read as to mean that she’s not a ‘priority’ and that he has no interest in her and as thus she must remove herself from the equation. The peddlers of these lies even have seductively creative aphorisms such as “people make time for those who matter”, “People text and reply to those they prioritise” and to top it all off, “Never believe anyone who says they’re too busy. If they wanted to be around you, they would.” One can immediately hear the fascism undertones of the language. We will resist the temptation to name and shame these devious individuals – as ours is to cast away illusions; we are not here to condemn. 


This kind of thinking is essential anti-revolutionary. We are currently in the middle of the BAE (before anyone else) revolution which has proven itself as a progressive ideology that liberates us from the archaic and ineffective one-and-only ideology which has caused untold trauma and ampoer irreparable damages to the relations between the sexes. The BAE revolution is at an advanced stage, and now the backward revisionist elements are trying to hijack it and drag us back to the days of darkness. These forces of darkness have perverted the BAE revolution to mean before anythingelse’. Any straight thinking individual can see that this formulation, although might be deemed romantic by the overly sentimental, is devoid of any appreciation of reality. It simply cannot be!


Allow us to expand on why this formulation is disingenuous. 


The Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends is clear on the issue of broke niggas. The Arch-Bishop of the OranjeVrystaat delivered the sermon Broke niggas should not be allowed to have sex which was accepted as the Alliance’s stand on the matter. It is, we might hasten to add, a dismissible offense to deputise a broke nigga. We do not speak for broke niggas. The Alliance is also a mass-based organisation, as are all the other organisations mentioned above, and its class character is necessarily proletariat in nature. We therefore do not speak for the super-rich.


Our members are workers, hustlers and dreamers. Our members are ambitious; they have talents to hone, and passions to feed. All the things we were led to believe, through centuries of trial and error and proclamations of women, are attractive characteristics in a man. It is thus utterly unfair to expect such an individual to not be busy. The Christian ideology, which women subscribe to in their majority, holds that “idle hands are the devil’s playground.” 


Taking all the above in account, it is clear to see that ‘being busy’ is an integral part of being an eligible suitor. We are the first to admit that one should make time for his bae, and that one’s free time must be in the main dedicated to her. We however reject categorically the mischievous notion that one can never be too busy for bae. This notion does not take into account the reality of the time-colonising nature of plantation slavery nor that of ‘perfect[ing] the pastimes that we have harboured based solely on the fact that it makes us smile if it sounds dope.’


If a man who’s never busy is the new in-thing, there are plenty of broke ass niggas and a handful of the idle super-rich around who have all the time on their hands to be attentive to bae at any moment.



The Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends thus makes this impassioned call to all and sundry to reject this nonsensical notion for the sake of happiness, peace and prosperity.



Our Baes Or Death. Let Love Flourish!



His Hornyness Yosef abuYeshua II

Pontiff of the Holy Alliance of Deputy Boyfriends

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